My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just found puke in my bra..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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