he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Text me some of your sweat
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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