Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
