I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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