And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
