I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize