i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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