I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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