Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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