He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
