I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
