ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
