Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I look better un-naked...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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