Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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