is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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