Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
