ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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