I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
