You really coming over, don't trick.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
