only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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