the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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