My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
