Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I enjoy the company of your penis
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