Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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