dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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