Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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