dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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