Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
