You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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