I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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