The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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