By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
