people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
