Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
please come you make the beer taste better
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
