on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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