would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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