Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
