Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
