Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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