dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
North Korea, Best Korea!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
