i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
