good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
