Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
