The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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