hell yes lets make some ravioli
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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