He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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