never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
