i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize