I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
