I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
