worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize