I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
