How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
