Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
