i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
