i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
