My first STD was from a foam party
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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