I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it because I queefed?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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