Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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