Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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