someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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